3rd day in Nha Trang. The "Booze Cruise." Eesh.

Where to start...

I may just put these all in high AND lowlights and you can choose for yourself.

- So we took the "island tour" which turned out to be what the boat crew desperately hoped would be a booze cruise. Unfortunately for them and to our entertainment, the passengers at 9:30am weren't having it. They actually weren't having it at 2pm either. But did that stop the persistent crew? Of course not. "No beer, no fun." (And old man strongly resembling Mr. Miyagi and still clearly hung over from New Yrs Eve the night before. If you know only 3 english words, I say those are a good choice.)

- The intoxicated boat crew actually doubled as the"live band" that was advertised. Miyagi played the drums. The young one was at the guitar, and the way too talkative guide was, naturally, the lead singer. La Bamba with Vietnamese accents. Only good in that it was a relief from the 3 Red Hot Chili Peppers songs that had been on repeat the 4 preceding hours.

- Cakes got sick and all she wanted to do was sleep or go home. We stopped on only one of the 6 islands and thought it was a chance to rest but unfortunately, even sitting on the chairs came at a cost.

- The meal on the "cruise" was supposed to be tops. They converted the benches into what resembled a giant trough, then proceeded to bring out an obscene amount of courses. Due to the set-up of the small, small boat, we were exceptionally suspicious as to where these plates and courses were coming from. Maybe the ocean? Maybe recycled leftovers from the cruise before. Oh, and we tied ourselves to some other boat out there and fed them too. Very mysterious. We weren't hungry.

- When I boarded the boat cruise, this drunk kid kept poking me playfully. The good news was that he gave us all Tet candy. The bad news is he aggravated me to the point that I slapped him. I'm sorry. My natural man just took over. I don't think he'll remember. Does that make it less bad?

- The "snorkeling" left something to be desired since the water wasn't something that it seems like much could live in. A quote from an excited guest: "I see a fish!! Oh...that's not a fish." Actually trash.

- When comparing "stupid human tricks" that night, our attractive Aussie friend (that's right, the one from the boat cruise. We found them again.) removed some kind of mouthpiece and turned around to us and screamed, revealing 3 missing teeth. Cakes very nearly pooped her pants. But he won the contest.